Reaching Up

     Eight feet above me there is a little window with bars and two panels consisting of 8x8 squares of hardened glass that I am able to reach and slide for fresh air.  If I stand on my tip toes I can slide it over and let the light and air in at the same time.  It's the only avenue I have for myself  that allows me any kind of contact with the outside world.  Reaching up, I do this daily and it's my only joy I have.  You see, I'm a prisoner, solitary confinement for me.  I get it, I was bad man and this is what they gave me instead of death.  Life in this 10x 10 cubicle of concrete, stainless steel and 1 bed, outfitted with the barest of comfort.  1 stainless steel mirror anchored to the wall, no glass ( for suicide precautions) and a toilet and sink also stainless no porcelain.  Again for precautions.  I guess they kinda expect it of all those who are lifers.  I get it, I was a bad man, and they want me to know it every single day for the rest of my life.
     I killed in the heat of the moment. Premeditated, no, my lawyer argued against that, still I ended up here because the jury saw what was in my heart.  It came out suddenly, violently, directed at an innocent and here I am.  Been here now for going on 25 years.   I killed my boss. I guess now that I've had these many years thinking about it I didn't mean too.  But I got my old man's temper, rage and all.  It's better now than it was.  I been going to classes reading self-help and lastly been listening to a man been visiting me here weekly religiously for a year. Preacher man.
     Why he keep coming when others don't I do not know, but I like him and his words make me feel better.  Something about him different, than all the other preachers I have heard when I was young.  Something ring true with him.
     He keeps sayin, "Reach-up" when you have to and don't have anyone else to help and he will answer you.  "He means Jesus, that's who. He name him for me so I know who it is when I get an answer."  I said," been here 25 years and no answer, you know?"  But he says,
     "He will on his timing not yours!"  Well I said,
     "Better hurry cause I'm gettin gray and tired."

"Just reach up like you reach for that window, every day he says. Let the light that is like that window come on in and you will know it's him."
"Preacher man must know better than I cause that's what he does, but I'll try. His name is John.  "Just like the Baptist of the Bible," he said. "Okay I say," and he leaves me alone again.
     Morning again, I stretch, and I can see the light, a purplely-yellow, and I reach-up, slide the window and say "Jesus......Come in"......"Please, I don't want to be lonely anymore, please, I want to give you this rage an temper, I can't get rid of it." And, just then I feel it. The light comes in, through the hardened glass  window, and the hardness of my heart suddenly and un-expectedly turn into a joy, a smile, a filling like I never felt before.
      Preacher man was right......JUST REACH-UP, AND TRUST, NO MATTER HOW MANY YEARS IT TAKES, HE KNOWS YOUR LIFE SPAN!