The light has been turned on and has been illuminating since about the age of nine! What is it you ask...that light? It is simply the quest, the all out quest to understand the why I am here? And why should I ask that at all if I have no formal belief system as of yet formed at age nine? How could I? I can barely write coherent sentences, read a novel, just learned to tie my shoes 4 years earlier and have some inkling of right and wrong forming and that because of a neighborhood bully!
Why then do I sense that something more is out there than jusy my biology of flesh and blood doing what is does, living...breathing...and functioning as it does by itself? If take the stance of science as taught to me then facts alone would explain my existence. But what about the moral inward right and wrong I am taught by my parents or the inate sense of it when someone treats me unfairly? So are the same thoughts of C.S. Lewis in his book, Mere Christianity. He espoused "The moral Law" as something above and beyond what we really think it is. Like that of say an Architect who then goes to create walls and staircases or fireplaces..he could no more be a part of the house but be the power behind it. Likewise "if there were a controlling power outside the Universe it could not expect to be a part of the Universe it had created or was controlling! So the only answer we could hope to find for the reason we are here is in man himself and the "letters we receive personally" and addressed to us from.....God? It is within himself the "package he has been allowed to open that he finds that there is somebody or something that wants him to behave in a certain way." Thus there is he concludes both in science and in the Moral Law a power behind the facts, a Director, a guide. ( ppg.25 Mere Christianity.)
And so I found out also at an early age there is more to my life than meets the eye. How then would I get my Letter personally addressed to me, if there was a power behind all that I am? Search for it.
In searching, I found that there were an abundance of choices before me. A smorgasborg of food that offered the answer...only none seemed correct. Most offered some reward of material gain or inward peace or insome cases nothingness at all! Now that seemed counterintuitive! Nothingness.....Or at best the chance to come back as an ant... or leopard or maybe even a swan or maybe someone who lived before! Channeling was not for me. But what I did find at an early age was the Good news for Modern man I read here and there but did not make much headway in understanding. But it did leave an impression upon me nevertheless. Some truth I sensed was in there waiting to be revealed at some point.
Fast forward 10 years and then I meet someone who is very different. He's nice, calm, personable and not seemingly concerned with time or things. Just focused on me at that moment in time and concerned for my circumstances. It was a chance meeting I thought...Then I met him again some time later maybe a month or so and he led me to his Church and I saw others like him and knew something was afoot! And then things like Spirit, Holy Ghost and discipleship were the words coming from all of the ones I met there... My first experience of Christianity as more than that of going somewhere to a Church....they were the Church. Now I say it was vibrant, taught biblical truth and formed relationships that I had never before experienced but... it still fell victim to some erroneous teachings that I would find out much later on. Regardless the truth that was necessary for belief in God was there in solid form, revelation, that personal letter addressed to me that would explain the why of things finally had made itself known. And from there illumination continues....Jesus the Son of God forgave me...the right and wrong finally explained that made perfect sense of who I really am and where it all leads....another Kingdom where righteousness reigns.
WITH ALL THY GETTING....GET UNDERSTANDING
THE ENTRANCE OF THY WORD LORD, GIVETH LIGHT
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