Eight feet above me there is a little window with bars and two panels consisting of 8x8 squares of hardened glass that I am able to reach and slide for fresh air. If I stand on my tip toes I can slide it over and let the light and air in at the same time. It's the only avenue I have for myself that allows me any kind of contact with the outside world. Reaching up, I do this daily and it's my only joy I have. You see, I'm a prisoner, solitary confinement for me. I get it, I was bad man and this is what they gave me instead of death. Life in this 10x 10 cubicle of concrete, stainless steel and 1 bed, outfitted with the barest of comfort. 1 stainless steel mirror anchored to the wall, no glass ( for suicide precautions) and a toilet and sink also stainless no porcelain. Again for precautions. I guess they kinda expect it of all those who are lifers. I get it, I was a bad man, and they want me to know it every single day for the rest of my life.
I killed in the heat of the moment. Premeditated, no, my lawyer argued against that, still I ended up here because the jury saw what was in my heart. It came out suddenly, violently, directed at an innocent and here I am. Been here now for going on 25 years. I killed my boss. I guess now that I've had these many years thinking about it I didn't mean too. But I got my old man's temper, rage and all. It's better now than it was. I been going to classes reading self-help and lastly been listening to a man been visiting me here weekly religiously for a year. Preacher man.
Why he keep coming when others don't I do not know, but I like him and his words make me feel better. Something about him different, than all the other preachers I have heard when I was young. Something ring true with him.
He keeps sayin, "Reach-up" when you have to and don't have anyone else to help and he will answer you. "He means Jesus, that's who. He name him for me so I know who it is when I get an answer." I said," been here 25 years and no answer, you know?" But he says,
"He will on his timing not yours!" Well I said,
"Better hurry cause I'm gettin gray and tired."
"Just reach up like you reach for that window, every day he says. Let the light that is like that window come on in and you will know it's him."
"Preacher man must know better than I cause that's what he does, but I'll try. His name is John. "Just like the Baptist of the Bible," he said. "Okay I say," and he leaves me alone again.
Morning again, I stretch, and I can see the light, a purplely-yellow, and I reach-up, slide the window and say "Jesus......Come in"......"Please, I don't want to be lonely anymore, please, I want to give you this rage an temper, I can't get rid of it." And, just then I feel it. The light comes in, through the hardened glass window, and the hardness of my heart suddenly and un-expectedly turn into a joy, a smile, a filling like I never felt before.
Preacher man was right......JUST REACH-UP, AND TRUST, NO MATTER HOW MANY YEARS IT TAKES, HE KNOWS YOUR LIFE SPAN!
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Saturday, September 10, 2016
This thing called myself:
The light has been turned on and has been illuminating since about the age of nine! What is it you ask...that light? It is simply the quest, the all out quest to understand the why I am here? And why should I ask that at all if I have no formal belief system as of yet formed at age nine? How could I? I can barely write coherent sentences, read a novel, just learned to tie my shoes 4 years earlier and have some inkling of right and wrong forming and that because of a neighborhood bully!
Why then do I sense that something more is out there than jusy my biology of flesh and blood doing what is does, living...breathing...and functioning as it does by itself? If take the stance of science as taught to me then facts alone would explain my existence. But what about the moral inward right and wrong I am taught by my parents or the inate sense of it when someone treats me unfairly? So are the same thoughts of C.S. Lewis in his book, Mere Christianity. He espoused "The moral Law" as something above and beyond what we really think it is. Like that of say an Architect who then goes to create walls and staircases or fireplaces..he could no more be a part of the house but be the power behind it. Likewise "if there were a controlling power outside the Universe it could not expect to be a part of the Universe it had created or was controlling! So the only answer we could hope to find for the reason we are here is in man himself and the "letters we receive personally" and addressed to us from.....God? It is within himself the "package he has been allowed to open that he finds that there is somebody or something that wants him to behave in a certain way." Thus there is he concludes both in science and in the Moral Law a power behind the facts, a Director, a guide. ( ppg.25 Mere Christianity.)
And so I found out also at an early age there is more to my life than meets the eye. How then would I get my Letter personally addressed to me, if there was a power behind all that I am? Search for it.
In searching, I found that there were an abundance of choices before me. A smorgasborg of food that offered the answer...only none seemed correct. Most offered some reward of material gain or inward peace or insome cases nothingness at all! Now that seemed counterintuitive! Nothingness.....Or at best the chance to come back as an ant... or leopard or maybe even a swan or maybe someone who lived before! Channeling was not for me. But what I did find at an early age was the Good news for Modern man I read here and there but did not make much headway in understanding. But it did leave an impression upon me nevertheless. Some truth I sensed was in there waiting to be revealed at some point.
Fast forward 10 years and then I meet someone who is very different. He's nice, calm, personable and not seemingly concerned with time or things. Just focused on me at that moment in time and concerned for my circumstances. It was a chance meeting I thought...Then I met him again some time later maybe a month or so and he led me to his Church and I saw others like him and knew something was afoot! And then things like Spirit, Holy Ghost and discipleship were the words coming from all of the ones I met there... My first experience of Christianity as more than that of going somewhere to a Church....they were the Church. Now I say it was vibrant, taught biblical truth and formed relationships that I had never before experienced but... it still fell victim to some erroneous teachings that I would find out much later on. Regardless the truth that was necessary for belief in God was there in solid form, revelation, that personal letter addressed to me that would explain the why of things finally had made itself known. And from there illumination continues....Jesus the Son of God forgave me...the right and wrong finally explained that made perfect sense of who I really am and where it all leads....another Kingdom where righteousness reigns.
WITH ALL THY GETTING....GET UNDERSTANDING
THE ENTRANCE OF THY WORD LORD, GIVETH LIGHT
Why then do I sense that something more is out there than jusy my biology of flesh and blood doing what is does, living...breathing...and functioning as it does by itself? If take the stance of science as taught to me then facts alone would explain my existence. But what about the moral inward right and wrong I am taught by my parents or the inate sense of it when someone treats me unfairly? So are the same thoughts of C.S. Lewis in his book, Mere Christianity. He espoused "The moral Law" as something above and beyond what we really think it is. Like that of say an Architect who then goes to create walls and staircases or fireplaces..he could no more be a part of the house but be the power behind it. Likewise "if there were a controlling power outside the Universe it could not expect to be a part of the Universe it had created or was controlling! So the only answer we could hope to find for the reason we are here is in man himself and the "letters we receive personally" and addressed to us from.....God? It is within himself the "package he has been allowed to open that he finds that there is somebody or something that wants him to behave in a certain way." Thus there is he concludes both in science and in the Moral Law a power behind the facts, a Director, a guide. ( ppg.25 Mere Christianity.)
And so I found out also at an early age there is more to my life than meets the eye. How then would I get my Letter personally addressed to me, if there was a power behind all that I am? Search for it.
In searching, I found that there were an abundance of choices before me. A smorgasborg of food that offered the answer...only none seemed correct. Most offered some reward of material gain or inward peace or insome cases nothingness at all! Now that seemed counterintuitive! Nothingness.....Or at best the chance to come back as an ant... or leopard or maybe even a swan or maybe someone who lived before! Channeling was not for me. But what I did find at an early age was the Good news for Modern man I read here and there but did not make much headway in understanding. But it did leave an impression upon me nevertheless. Some truth I sensed was in there waiting to be revealed at some point.
Fast forward 10 years and then I meet someone who is very different. He's nice, calm, personable and not seemingly concerned with time or things. Just focused on me at that moment in time and concerned for my circumstances. It was a chance meeting I thought...Then I met him again some time later maybe a month or so and he led me to his Church and I saw others like him and knew something was afoot! And then things like Spirit, Holy Ghost and discipleship were the words coming from all of the ones I met there... My first experience of Christianity as more than that of going somewhere to a Church....they were the Church. Now I say it was vibrant, taught biblical truth and formed relationships that I had never before experienced but... it still fell victim to some erroneous teachings that I would find out much later on. Regardless the truth that was necessary for belief in God was there in solid form, revelation, that personal letter addressed to me that would explain the why of things finally had made itself known. And from there illumination continues....Jesus the Son of God forgave me...the right and wrong finally explained that made perfect sense of who I really am and where it all leads....another Kingdom where righteousness reigns.
WITH ALL THY GETTING....GET UNDERSTANDING
THE ENTRANCE OF THY WORD LORD, GIVETH LIGHT
Monday, September 5, 2016
Why The Gospel is Still Relevant Today: and not just a story book, it is indeed the message of good news.
After all these years I can still say that I am in awe of the message of the Gospel, not just any Gospel, but the Gospel as Jesus and his disciples preached it. That message in it's unadulterated and and unaltered form is the message for life. And that life is not in the words printed in ink and on a surface of paper or now in digitized version. Like Jesus told the Pharisee's and Saducees, the life they searched for was not in the scriptures of the Law they has religiously studied and carried out, but the true life was in Jesus himself. And that enraged them because they could not get their minds around what was in front of their eyes. The Law and the Prophets had come to life. All embodied in Christ, the Messiah. What we have now is a record in ink and in binary a written testimony of what God wanted to leave behind for all those who would not see their Lord face to face but believe instead on the record of witnesses that had gone before them. "For is it written blessed are those who have not seen but believe...." and we are they. I am one. The Gospel was meant to reveal forever the true nature of our God. That the kingdom of God has come near. For the Gospel to come near to us who were unbelievers, something had to change. We had to first repent of our own nature, trust that we were indeed born into a world of darkness and that darkness was in us. Can you see it? A Holy and just God came, in form just like us and took from us the darkness deep within and made it "white as snow" no longer scarlet. The Gospel changed the world and it was meant too. The words themselves of the Gospel have no effect unless the heart is willing and tilled up for the preparation of a new life and the seed to be started.
All of the daily misery, the striving, the poverty, and the oppressive Roman rule made for fertile ground for the Gospel to spread. And spread it did. Paul's life was indeed that life that produced a hundred fold. Today we have a distorted version of Westernized Christianity and can easily hop to and fro searching for the kind of word we want to hear. And that is dangerous. Dangerous because we limit the true nature and power of the Gospel and we do not release the Holy Spirit to do the work within our midst. What did James say Religion was? "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Did Jesus institute programs? Did he institute Religion or Religious activity? Aside from healing, teaching, rebuking, and preaching, what did he do? He took captivity captive. Inother words he took away from Satan that which was not his.......US.
All of the daily misery, the striving, the poverty, and the oppressive Roman rule made for fertile ground for the Gospel to spread. And spread it did. Paul's life was indeed that life that produced a hundred fold. Today we have a distorted version of Westernized Christianity and can easily hop to and fro searching for the kind of word we want to hear. And that is dangerous. Dangerous because we limit the true nature and power of the Gospel and we do not release the Holy Spirit to do the work within our midst. What did James say Religion was? "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Did Jesus institute programs? Did he institute Religion or Religious activity? Aside from healing, teaching, rebuking, and preaching, what did he do? He took captivity captive. Inother words he took away from Satan that which was not his.......US.
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