i've gone nuclear!

Oh, it hurts!  Yes I admit it. When things happen that I don't especially like, such as being used, abused, taken advantage of etc, etc, etc. Then when I don't have a grip on my emotions, POW! Nuclear fission takes place right inside my mind and then my emotions kick in and then mass explosions occur. And I hate it.  Now I don't always go this route, but I'm human and so, it happened  this weekend. one after another and I could not shake the events or put the cork back in the bottle or the bad genie back in the bottle.  Out it came and all the gunk with it.  But, thanks be to God, as some say... I can be washed in the blood of Christ that heals that sort of thing.  Yes it is not a mind game but a peace that eventually wins out over such things as this.  Think Peter and you get what i'm saying.  He was a man of intensity and a man of simplicity and a man that needed forgiveness he did not give himself.  But Jesus did.  Do you love me he asked?  That is the million dollar question. I do and I know why I do....do you?   Because often enough I cannot forgive myself the things that come out of my heart or mouth.  @#%^^%% yeah like that! PEACE.

Skin for Skin

"Skin for skin" said the Devil in the presence of the Lord God.  This he said about Job as he was about to tempt him with the very loss of his health. 
   The Devil roams about. Seeking to destroy by any means possible.  And how should we respond?  By resisting.  Not retaliating as we would so like to do.  By letting our prayers go up to the throne room of our Father and telling him please help us. 
   Again I was kicked in the teeth today.  Happy new year.....I will lose a home in the next several weeks and be forced into a very small apartment that I came from 6 months ago.  Just goes to show the self centeredness and a heart that waxes and wanes according to mood.  I guess we were warned that these days would come, and to be aware of people who would despite fully use us, as Jesus warned. 
   Not only did I give everything I could to help a person but I put forward my Christianity daily on the altar of giving as I should and was repaid by this act.  As yesterday's blog, noted, I will continue to do what I have to to sow the good things in the midst of a world so corrupted by blindness and evil. Peace
 I pray that God can use even this for good. somehow......