i've gone nuclear!

Oh, it hurts!  Yes I admit it. When things happen that I don't especially like, such as being used, abused, taken advantage of etc, etc, etc. Then when I don't have a grip on my emotions, POW! Nuclear fission takes place right inside my mind and then my emotions kick in and then mass explosions occur. And I hate it.  Now I don't always go this route, but I'm human and so, it happened  this weekend. one after another and I could not shake the events or put the cork back in the bottle or the bad genie back in the bottle.  Out it came and all the gunk with it.  But, thanks be to God, as some say... I can be washed in the blood of Christ that heals that sort of thing.  Yes it is not a mind game but a peace that eventually wins out over such things as this.  Think Peter and you get what i'm saying.  He was a man of intensity and a man of simplicity and a man that needed forgiveness he did not give himself.  But Jesus did.  Do you love me he asked?  That is the million dollar question. I do and I know why I do....do you?   Because often enough I cannot forgive myself the things that come out of my heart or mouth.  @#%^^%% yeah like that! PEACE.